Bern. A city in Switzerland that is very pricey. Also a helmet company.

Jan 31, 2010  ·  11:18 AM  ·  permalink

If you’ve ever been to Switzerland, you have more money than me. That’s just a simple axiom I think we can all get on board with. You probably also have a super-hot wife, 3 adorable children who all play musical instruments and show promise in their studies. Which they likely practice at a small boarding school in France.

Someday, your daughter will wander in to whatever Starbucks I’m camping in to author the next post that nobody will read, and I will think her a vision of loveliness heretofore unknown to mine own eyes. I will probably weep that my life took the turns it did, and none of them led me to her.

She will not notice me.

If however, I save up enough money to buy a Bern Carbon Fiber helmet, and she and I somehow find ourselves at the same ski resort (Portillo, probably, because that’s just how she rolls), I think I might stand a chance.

It’s not cheap… But neither is your daughter.

$240 could buy me enough beer to forget the pain of my actual life for at least a couple days. It’s light (13 oz.!), has a sexy carbon fiber outer shell, and a cool, understated logo that uses some font that I’m sure people who also wear Prada will really appreciate. You can get vents if you want, and there are visor and no visor models.

Without trying to put the weight of the world on the shoulders of this piece of protective headgear, I’m pretty sure that if a sample came to SnowHugger global headquarters, I would stop crying myself to sleep every night to drown out the pain of a life lived without the sweet kiss of your youngest angel on my cheek before I set off down the hill en route to the quaint village where we’ve settled, building a better life for us both, and for humanity as a whole.