I'm not a DJ. But I'm willing to learn, if that's what it takes.

Jan 31, 2010  ·  12:55 PM  ·  permalink

Me: Hi, I’m writing an article about hats and stuff for a blog you’ve never heard of.

She: We don’t have hats. We have headphones.

Me: Close enough. Can I touch your hair?

She: Wait a second… Did you make your Media Pass made with a crayon? This is bear mace. Enjoy.

Understanding the complex hierarchies of the SIA Snow Show requires judgment on several complex and dynamic criteria. Where is your booth located? How big is it? How many buyers are in there at any one time? How much buzz is your product getting? Are the restrooms conveniently located just steps away from your space?

And then there are the intangibles. The special things that set you apart. Are your booth girls hotter than the surface of the sun? Does the area around your reception desk smell like weed? Did a rap concert just break out, and is the percentage of people wearing pants in your vicinity slowly gathering downward momentum?

Skullcandy is going to take over the world because they dominate the intangibles. They make cool looking headphones at great prices, sure. In the immortal words of Chris Rock, however, you don’t get congratulations for the shit you’re supposed to do.

And as the girl at the front desk said, “I’m sure somebody is keeping this crazy train on or near the tracks, but thank God I’m not that guy. Now let’s get one of the hot girls to come over and model headphones for you.”

The new DJ headphones they showed me had the ability, when one can is turned away, to route BOTH channels of audio into the one still on your ear. Useful? I think so. Sexy? On every level, yes, for so very, very many reasons… I desperately I wanted those cans on my head… so to speak.

More telling than anything, really, is that while Pamela Anderson was holed up (ha!) at Nidecker introducing her new board, the people who you actually wanted to hang out with were having a way better house party with the flight attendants at Skullcandy.

Like the girl in the headline picture. And her friends. All. Day. Long.